Upholding Optimism in a Difficult Environment

“Cherish life more than its significance? Indeed, yes.” ~Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

As a child, there was a distinct moment during twilight when the aged sodium lights flickered to life in the streets, transforming the vibrant world into a yellowish haze, and it consistently filled me with sorrow.

On one such occasion, my father inquired why I grew so silent during those evenings. I was at a loss for words—how could he not sense the same emotions?

The evening was just commencing, and the ditch outside was beginning to freeze. Gazing through the window, I noticed the clouds of breath from the people in the chilly air.

“Let’s grab an ice cream in the village,” he proposed.

I perched on the rear of his bicycle, and the yellow-hued world rushed past us. The pedestrians seemed to have drained of their color. The shop was about to shut down, but we arrived just in time.

Moments later, we stood outside the shop, right beneath one of those lanterns. My father held onto his bike in the snow, relishing his ice cream loaded with sprinkles.

“Lekker he?” he remarked. (“Tasty, huh?”)

I’ve always wondered, but it felt as though in that moment, he was trying to convey, “We are both experiencing this together, aren’t we?”

On Keeping a Light Heart

Now at thirty, it has been a decade since I lost my father to cancer. Looking back, growing up seemed akin to those evenings when the sodium lamps illuminated the streets: as time waned, the world inevitably lost some of its vibrancy.

Heartbreaks, poor choices, unattainable dreams, words left unsaid, too late to be voiced. More memories to linger on, to feel resentment about, or to get stuck in along the path. Time leaves its traces one way or another, and it seems no one can escape it.

How do we manage this reality of life? And how can one retain color, avoid bitterness, and remain light-hearted like a child? Is it even feasible?

As I grew up, I witnessed various ways people coped with this: holding onto jobs, projecting it onto partners, seeking guidance from mentors, or simply growing dull themselves. Others became intoxicated by the idea that with enough effort, they could alter this world.

I subscribed to the latter, committing myself to a journey of staying lighthearted as I aged.

In my twenties, I immersed myself in philosophy, art, powerlifting, trading, traveling, filmmaking, and writing. I thrived on being busy, being slightly frazzled, staying up late, striving to learn new ideas, fresh perspectives—anything to fend off bitterness. It felt like pursuing meaningful answers justified the inherent meaninglessness of much of life’s suffering.

One of my early mentors in art school once remarked to me, “Sam, being a romantic in this world is one of the toughest pursuits.” I didn’t fully grasp her then, but as with many of her insights, they would only resonate years later.

Throughout my twenties, to an outside observer, I appeared to do quite well. Yet, even during genuinely good times, the question lingered: how can we maintain a light heart while bearing the weight of the past?

The more I discovered, the grimmer the world appeared. It reached a point where the feeling associated with sodium lamps transformed from being an evening occurrence to a constant presence. The colors didn’t return with the mornings anymore.

There was a phase where I felt I had exhausted my known surroundings entirely—or at least, that’s how it seemed. Every answer I uncovered unveiled a starker reality than the last. Amid that monochrome stretch, a thought persisted—not exactly as a strategy, but as a reassuring presence: that the door remained open if I so desired. That I could step outside.

During this time, I met a woman who radiated light, filled with color, and always seemed to wear a smile. She possessed a tea box that lacked red bush, mint, or Earl Grey. Instead, she offered Namastea, empatea, tearapy, etc. In truth, she forgot the actual flavors, leading us into fits of laughter.

We exchanged many thoughts, and each time, she responded with laughter, a quip, or an amusing expression, never dismissing the gravity of our discussions, yet continually opting for lightness.

The steam from my teacup wafted gently upwards. Outside, the snow was creating rivulets of water. A young tree had started to bloom.

“Aren’t you merely a man who comes and goes, exploring as authentically as he can? If that’s the case, why not keep exploring? It may not be the most convenient lifestyle, but who cares?” she suggested.

“You don’t care, do you?”

It dawned on me then that in my quest for answers, I had halted my search for questions.

The Unfamiliar

The unknown is a child’s ally—until that child matures, and it turns adversarial, causing heartache and despair.

That despair led me deep into darkness, and within that darkness, I found I had nothing further to lose. And if I was devoid of anything left to lose, then I could venture anywhere and undertake anything.

The unknown that had transformed into my foe suddenly appeared as the only realm still pulsing with vitality.

So, I set out to find it.

My love and I walked backwards for two months across northern Spain, literally backwards, on the Camino de Santiago, as we aimed to understand what “embracing the unknown” truly felt like. Initially, we were perpetually prepared for disaster since we couldn’t see our path ahead.

However, after sufficient slowing down, nothing disastrous occurred. Instead, the unknown gradually began to lose its menacing aura, and we discovered a sense of lightness, freedom, and presence.

Then we completely departed from Amsterdam and relocated to the campo of Panama, seeking to uncover what occurs in true solitude, far removed from any distractions and familiarity.

In that solitude, I confronted everything I had been running from: my inability to accept reality as it is, the pressure “to be something” in a world that felt dreary, and the desperate urge to make sense of everything.

Discovering Your Ice Cream

Through the narratives of others, I came to know my father struggled with existence just as profoundly as I did. I simply never noticed it. After all, he was Dad: the individual who possessed all the answers and could mend anything.

But on that particular night, I believe he understood what I was experiencing. And he didn’t attempt to remedy it, rationalize it, or dismiss it into oblivion.

Instead, he hopped onto his bicycle and took us to the ice cream shop.

That thought frequently crosses my mind now—not the ice cream itself, but the refusal to allow the monochrome to prevail.

He didn’t battle the sodium lanterns or feign that the world wasn’t fading to gray. He simply determined that it wasn’t a valid reason to miss out on vanilla with sprinkles.

The other evening, while sitting in the sun with my love in Panama, gazing at the heights of Volcán Barú as the day gracefully transitioned into night, I heard myself saying,

“Lekker hé?”

I recognized that in that instance, I was inhabiting the same space my father had always occupied. Not above the world, nor against it, but within it, savoring something delightful, alongside someone I cherish.

**Maintaining Positivity in a Challenging World**

In a time marked by swift changes, uncertainty, and oftentimes overwhelming negativity, sustaining a positive perspective can appear to be a daunting task. Nevertheless, nurturing positivity is not only advantageous for mental health but also vital for resilience in the face of adversity. Here are numerous strategies to assist people in preserving positivity amid a challenging environment.

### 1. **Cultivate Gratitude**

One of the most powerful practices to encourage positivity is through gratitude. Keeping a gratitude journal, where you consistently note things you appreciate, can shift your focus from what is not present to what is plentiful in your life. This habit fosters a mindset that values small pleasures and victories, even during tough times.

### 2. **Minimize Negative Influences**

In our contemporary digital landscape, exposure to adverse news and social media can be overwhelming. Establishing boundaries regarding media consumption can help alleviate feelings of anxiety and hopelessness. Curate your news sources, follow uplifting and positive accounts, and take breaks from social media to refresh your mental state.

### 3. **Surround Yourself with Uplifting Individuals**

The people you associate with greatly impact your mindset. Being around positive, encouraging people can elevate your mood and reinforce a hopeful perspective. Participate in communities or groups that align with your interests and ideals, fostering connections that enthuse and inspire.

### 4. **Engage in Physical Activities**

Consistent physical exercise serves as an effective way to improve mood and diminish stress. Exercise releases endorphins, which are the body’s natural mood enhancers. Whether it’s a brisk walk, yoga session, or a dance class, finding a fun way to remain active can enhance a positive outlook.

### 5. **Practice Mindfulness and Meditation**

Engaging in mindfulness and meditation can help ground you in the present, lessening feelings of anxiety about the future or regrets about the past. Techniques like deep breathing, guided imagery, or mindfulness meditation can instill calmness and clarity, fostering a more cheerful outlook on life’s challenges.

### 6. **Set Attainable Goals**

Defining realistic goals provides a sense of direction and purpose. Break larger objectives into smaller, manageable pieces, and acknowledge your accomplishments along the way. This method not only creates a sense of achievement but also helps maintain motivation and positivity.

### 7. **Participate in Acts of Kindness**

Assisting others can significantly uplift your own mood and perspective. Engaging in acts of kindness, whether by volunteering, supporting a friend, or simply showing courtesy, creates a ripple effect of positivity. This benefits not just others but also reinforces your sense of purpose and connection.

### 8. **Concentrate on Solutions, Not Problems**

When confronted with difficulties, shifting your attention from the issue to possible solutions can enable a proactive attitude. Instead of fixating on what’s wrong, brainstorm ways to tackle the challenge at hand. This change in outlook encourages resilience and fosters a sense of empowerment.

### 9. **Accept Change and Uncertainty**

In a challenging world, change is unavoidable. Embracing uncertainty and perceiving it as a chance for growth can help develop a more upbeat viewpoint. Adaptability and flexibility are essential traits that allow individuals to navigate life’s highs and lows with grace.

### 10. **Seek Professional Help if Necessary**

If feelings of negativity or hopelessness continue, reaching out for professional assistance is an important step. Therapists and counselors can offer support and strategies tailored to individual requirements, aiding in fostering a more positive mindset.

### Conclusion

Sustaining positivity in a challenging world isn’t about overlooking difficulties but rather about cultivating resilience and a proactive stance towards life’s fluctuations. By applying these strategies, individuals can foster a brighter outlook, enhancing their overall well-being and capacity to thrive amidst adversity.