Three Neglected Aspects Leading to Burnout

Desire more articles like this in your life? Subscribe to the Tiny Buddha list for daily or weekly wisdom.

“Prioritize self-love, and everything else will fall into place.” ~Lucille Ball

The initial occasion I encountered burnout was at twenty-six.

I was at the pinnacle of my career in London, juggling everything, yet I somehow found myself back at my parents’ home, weeping in my mother’s vehicle after taking time off from work, completely baffled as to how I landed there.

Burnout is more than just feeling exhausted from pushing ourselves too hard. It’s when we arrive at a state of physical, mental, and emotional depletion after stretching ourselves beyond our limits for an extended period.

When we eventually halt, often involuntarily, all the perplexing symptoms emerge. We feel inundated, out of control, as if we’re losing our minds. That was me at twenty-six, precisely when I thought I ought to have been flourishing.

To provide some context, I was overseeing multiple boutique fitness studios in London, working for a particularly demanding boss whose mood could shift suddenly, impacting the entire office. I wasn’t entirely the life of the party, yet I was still burning the candle at both ends, socializing with friends on weekends and rushing to meet obligations during the week.

The onset of my burnout was gradual, beginning with tears over trivial matters, gaining weight despite my exercise routine, an inability to quiet my mind, and an endless feeling of being wired and inundated with emotions I didn’t comprehend.

Burnout manifests differently for everyone, and I believe many of us endure a chronic, low-grade version we fail to recognize until our well-being begins to unravel.

At that time, I believed burnout stemmed solely from long hours and stress. However, over the years, I discovered that deeper, less apparent reasons lay beneath my struggles.

Now, let’s delve into three not-so-obvious contributors to burnout that often go unnoticed.

The Hidden Pressure to Validate Your Value

One of the most significant realizations I’ve had about myself over the past decade is my persistent need to validate my worth. I’ve never felt entirely sufficient, and this has always influenced my confidence.

I’m aware I’m not the only one experiencing this. We all grapple with self-worth and confidence, yearning to demonstrate our value—to our employers, our parents, our partners, and society at large.

However, this awareness eluded me in my younger years. I recognized my strong drive to work diligently and meet others’ demands but failed to connect it to my need for validation.

I have come to acknowledge that many of us carry a core wound around self-worth, even among those who appear most self-confident, and it’s vital to strive for acceptance, embrace, and love for who we truly are.

When we lack awareness of our internal drivers, we may plunge into life obliviously, misunderstanding what truly fuels our actions. For me, my insecurity manifested in my eagerness to please my boss, to the extent that I lost sight of my own needs and desires.

Her disapproval terrified me. I dreaded missing her calls or failing to respond to her emails promptly. I continually anticipated her demands, berating myself if I misjudged a scenario or fell short.
It exerted an ongoing strain on my nervous system.

I pushed myself relentlessly until I could no longer manage the pressure. The thought of disappointing her was unbearable, and if I ever did, I chastised myself for not achieving more, for not being better.

The tipping point came when I had to leave work early, much to her annoyance, to meet my mother, who had arranged a mother-daughter photoshoot (something I definitely wasn’t looking forward to, given my stressful state).

All I remember is sobbing on the subway en route there, continuing even as the worried makeup artist attempted to address my swollen eyes. I didn’t want to let anyone down, and it became overwhelming.

That’s when I began to grasp that burnout transcends mere physical overwork. It can stem from the emotional burdens we impose on ourselves, like the need to meet expectations, ensure others are content, and validate our worth to those we feel compelled to impress.

Only when we recognize that our well-being supersedes our productivity can we start to acknowledge how our desire for approval fuels our actions and begin to gently and lovingly confront the deeper root cause.

Why Burnout Flourishes Without Boundaries

One of the most detrimental aspects of my need to validate myself was that my boss was also aware of it and exploited it.

At that time, I was oblivious to the concept of boundaries. I sought to keep everyone satisfied, juggling multiple responsibilities and stretching myself precariously thin.

We are conditioned to think it’s wrong to be self-serving, that we mustn’t refuse requests, and that we need to prioritize others’ needs over our own, but at what price? Frequently, the cost is our own happiness and well-being.

We often perceive boundaries as merely physical, yet they also encompass mental and emotional realms.

We may have shut down our computers, but are we still ruminating about the meeting the next morning? We might have exited the office, yet are we anxious about forgetting to send that crucial email?

Each morning on my commute to work, I felt a knot of dread in my stomach as I contemplated what I might have mismanaged or overlooked. It was as if my mind couldn’t turn off, escalating my stress levels alarmingly.

One of the reasons establishing boundaries can be so challenging is when we attach our identity to our roles, defining our purpose and existence through what we do.

Whether our burnout arises from parenthood, caregiving, employment, entrepreneurship, or any other roles we undertake, we must remember to cultivate a sense of healthy separation from our actions, as that doesn’t encapsulate our entire being.

This is a crucial boundary we need to establish.

We are human beings, not human doings. When we mistakenly conflate our worth, identity, or purpose with our actions instead of who we truly are, these boundaries become obscured.

How Denial Keeps Us Trapped in Burnout

Another significant factor contributing to my burnout was my inability, or refusal, to confront the truth within myself.

I wasn’t fully aware of how much I was struggling, and even if I had been, I wouldn’t have confessed. Acknowledging it would have required facing change that I wasn’t prepared to undertake.

Even though change is an inevitable part of our lives, it remains something many of us dread. After all, it’s complicated, unpredictable, and uncomfortable.

Nevertheless, it’s always necessary, especially in the throes of burnout.

If we don’t alter our circumstances, attitudes, or boundaries, then nothing will shift. Thus, we need to embrace the truth about what isn’t functioning and start instituting crucial changes.

We may also find it challenging to be transparent about our motivations for remaining in a state of burnout.

I’ll be honest; at that moment, I genuinely enjoyed my life. Or rather, I appreciated how my life appeared. When I arrived late to dinners with friends because of work, I would lament that my job was always making me late, but deep down, I felt busy, significant, and exceptional.

There’s often a deeply unconscious part of us that clings to the very things that harm us. It’s almost as if we transform into martyrs within our suffering. Yet, this merely reflects the deep-seated unconscious yearning to be acknowledged, seen, and cared for.

That’s the ironic aspect: during burnout, we frequently long for recognition and nurturing from others. However, waiting for someone else to save us keeps us ensnared.

In my struggle with burnout, I simply desired someone to recognize and articulate what was amiss. I vented about my job to anyone who would listen, yet I rejected any advice. I kept pushing myself, secretly hoping that eventually someone, anyone, might take notice.

Burnout isn’t a call for help, but rather a plea from within to be cared for, supported, and nurtured. First and foremost, we must start caring for ourselves.

This Is Where Burnout Concludes

If you’re battling burnout, understand that you’re not alone. Start by being truthful with yourself. Identify where you feel the need to validate your worth and where you require healthier boundaries so you can begin to care for yourself.

These subtle triggers may not resemble overwork, yet they deplete us just as deeply, sometimes even more.

The pivotal moment for me was when I acknowledged I wasn’t coping, signed off from work, and sought help from a holistic practitioner. That was the first time I started to truly listen to myself, opening the door to healing and growth I never believed possible at twenty-six.

A decade later, I’m profoundly grateful for what those experiences taught me. As cliché as it sounds, my breakdown paved the way for my breakthrough. Although I still grapple with establishing boundaries, feeling “enough,” and being honest with myself at times, those lessons have shaped who I am today.

It all began with the simple realization that I needed to prioritize my self-care with the same urgency I once reserved for others. And perhaps you do as well.

**Three Neglected Elements Leading to Burnout**

Burnout has emerged as a widespread concern in today’s rapid-paced society, impacting people across diverse professions and lifestyles. While the recognized triggers of burnout, such as excessive workloads and insufficient support, are widely known, numerous neglected factors can significantly contribute to this issue. Understanding these elements is vital for both individuals and organizations looking to alleviate burnout and enhance well-being.

**1. Absence of Autonomy**

One of the most significant yet often disregarded factors leading to burnout is a lack of autonomy within the workplace. When employees feel they possess limited control over their tasks, schedules, or decision-making processes, it can foster feelings of powerlessness and frustration. This deficit of empowerment can reduce job satisfaction and motivation, ultimately culminating in emotional depletion. Organizations that cultivate an environment of autonomy, where employees are encouraged to take initiative and make decisions, can help mitigate the feelings of burnout. Allowing employees to define their own objectives and manage their workloads can boost their sense of ownership and engagement.

**2. Value Misalignment**

A further critical contributor to burnout can be a misalignment between an individual’s personal values and the values upheld by their organization. When employees find themselves in settings that do not resonate with their beliefs or ethical standards, it can engender cognitive dissonance and emotional turmoil. For example, an employee who values teamwork and collaboration may feel burnt out in a highly competitive and individualistic work environment. Organizations should endeavor to create a culture that aligns with their employees’ values, fostering a sense of belonging and purpose. Routinely assessing organizational values and ensuring they resonate with the workforce can assist in alleviating this source of burnout.

**3. Insufficient Recovery Period**

In the quest for productivity, many individuals underestimate the necessity for recovery time. Continuous work without adequate breaks can lead to chronic stress and burnout. Both the human brain and body require time to regenerate, and insufficient recovery can hinder cognitive function, creativity, and overall well-being. This aspect is often undervalued, as many employees feel compelled to remain perpetually available or to work extended hours without taking proper breaks. Promoting regular time-off, advocating for work-life balance, and emphasizing downtime’s importance can significantly lower the burnout risk. Organizations can implement policies that support flexible working arrangements and encourage employees to utilize their vacation days to recharge.

**Conclusion**

Burnout is a complex issue extending far beyond the commonly acknowledged causes. By recognizing and addressing overlooked factors such as a lack of autonomy, value misalignment, and insufficient recovery time, both individuals and organizations can take proactive measures to avert burnout. Fostering a supportive and empowering work environment that prioritizes employee well-being is vital for cultivating resilience and maintaining a healthy workforce.