Interested in similar posts in your life? Sign up for the Tiny Buddha list for daily or weekly insights.
“Survival mode is meant to be a temporary phase designed to save your life. It is not intended to be your way of living.” ~Michele Rosenthal
For many, childhood is the most treasured period. Yet, no one reaches adulthood without scars. We all encounter situations with friends, family, and at school or elsewhere that leave us feeling emotionally hurt or marked.
Growing up in a home where my parents juggled raising three children while striving to improve their financial situation, I felt overlooked somewhere along the way. Not that it was deliberate on their part, but I consistently battled, even overwhelmed, by feelings of being misunderstood, isolated, inadequate, and fundamentally undeserving.
Only after years of trying to please others, pursuing an unsuitable master’s degree, and advancing in a corporate job did the repressed emotions explode like a volcano. The aftermath? It manifested as physical illness with allergies, persistent body pain, and rashes that deprived me of sleep, leading to a complete breakdown.
That’s when I came to understand that my body was attempting to communicate with me. It had been signaling me since I was a child.
I often cried a lot, leading others to label me as sensitive. I was frequently unwell, and my parents considered me a “weakling.” I would either scream and yell or completely shut down, retreating to my room. Regardless, they would tell me to stop being so reactive. It turned into a vicious cycle of feeling overwhelmed followed by self-loathing for not acting “normally.”
<pReturning to my adult breakdown, as I lay sobbing on the floor, I resolved to quit my job and pursue psychology. It wasn’t a straightforward journey from that point, but studying this field helped me understand why I behaved the way I did.
It turns out I wasn’t overly sensitive or reactive; I was in survival mode, with my body and mind interpreting everything as a threat. My body attempted to keep me safe from any slight deviation by triggering a fight, flight, or freeze response. My mind was perpetually on alert to the moods and reactions of others. Consequently, my body was unable to relax and became worn out over the years.
Our bodies are built to confront threats and then return to a state of relaxation. However, when our minds struggle to process, manage, or tolerate overwhelming emotions, they enter an “always on guard” state to safeguard us. Unfortunately, this protection can turn into a burden when we cannot silence the alarm bells, leading us to live with anxiety.
The irony is that we often remain in this state for so many years that it begins to feel normal and comfortable. We start to seek out drama and attract friends and partners who trigger us, causing us to spiral, which keeps us in an emotionally charged state.
However, there is a way to escape. It requires effort and bravery to rewire our minds and bodies for optimal functioning and to lead a more fulfilling life, yet it is achievable.
Every journey is distinct, and we must discover what works best for ourselves. However, here are a few strategies that benefitted me. I genuinely hope they may assist you if my experiences resonate with you.
1. Remind yourself that you can handle whatever comes your way.
When in survival mode, we construct unhelpful narratives in our minds and predict the worst possible scenarios to keep ourselves safe. The key to releasing our fear-driven need for self-protection is recognizing that we cannot control everything. No amount of worry can guarantee that we won’t be hurt.
All we can do is work on what lies within our control and then consciously choose empowering thoughts. Remind yourself that even if things don’t unfold as you envisioned, you can manage it, and you will be okay.
2. Rewire your brain through awareness.
Frequently inquire whether your thoughts are creating your feelings or if your feelings are shaping your thoughts. You’ll be surprised to discover that our minds formulate statements that cause us to feel a certain way.
For instance, if a friend doesn’t respond to a text or call, you might concoct narratives about whether you upset them or whether something is wrong with them, provoking emotional reactions. If you think they are simply busy, your feelings will differ. Thus, practice becoming aware of your stories to avoid slipping into panic mode over thoughts that are likely not factual.
3. Scan your body.
Your body communicates in subtle ways. Always check in to understand how you genuinely feel. Is there tension somewhere? Is your heart racing? Is your jaw clenched? By being curious about your physical sensations, you will start to notice when you’re emotionally heightened in response to a perceived threat. This allows you to proactively soothe your nervous system—perhaps through deep breathing, cuddling your pet, or spending time in nature.
4. Show yourself compassion.
This journey is not straightforward, and it’s essential to be kind to yourself. You’ve done your best to survive, and now it’s time to awaken to the possibility of thriving.
About Chaitali Gursahani
Chaitali serves as an Integrated Living Coach and is a passionate advocate for mental health. She believes that mental health is just as vital as physical health and that to develop holistically, both must be integrated. She regularly discusses mental health topics on her website www.themindcurry.com.
**Understanding High Emotional Reactivity and Its Connection to Survival Mode**
High emotional reactivity denotes an individual’s intensified emotional responses to stimuli, often marked by deep feelings such as anger, anxiety, or sadness. This occurrence can profoundly affect relationships, decision-making, and overall mental wellness. Grasping the origins of high emotional reactivity and its relationship to survival mode is crucial for managing emotions proficiently and promoting resilience.
**The Nature of High Emotional Reactivity**
Emotional reactivity varies from person to person and is influenced by genetic, environmental, and psychological factors. Individuals with high emotional reactivity might experience swift and intense emotional reactions to circumstances that others may not find as provocative. This can manifest in several ways, including:
– **Increased Sensitivity**: People may respond strongly to perceived criticism or rejection.
– **Heightened Anxiety**: Scenarios that induce uncertainty can lead to overwhelming feelings of fear or concern.
– **Intense Anger**: Minor provocations can incite disproportionately strong anger responses.
Such reactions can originate from various sources, including past trauma, anxiety, and personality characteristics. Understanding these triggers is essential for effectively managing emotional reactions.
**Survival Mode: The Body’s Response to Threat**
Survival mode, commonly known as the “fight or flight” response, is a physiological reaction to perceived dangers. When confronted with threats, the body releases stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, gearing up for immediate action. This response is vital for survival, enabling quick reactions to dangers.
In today’s society, however, many stressors are psychological rather than physical. High emotional reactivity can be viewed as a symptom of survival mode, where the brain interprets emotional challenges as threats. This can lead to:
– **Chronic Stress**: Extended activation of the stress response can give rise to chronic stress, impacting both mental and physical health.
– **Emotional Dysregulation**: Individuals may find it difficult to manage their emotions, resulting in impulsive reactions.
– **Avoidance Behaviors**: To deal with overwhelming feelings, people might shy away from situations that trigger their reactivity, restricting their experiences and personal growth.
**The Connection Between High Emotional Reactivity and Survival Mode**
The relationship between high emotional reactivity and survival mode hinges on the brain’s interpretation of threats. When individuals exhibit high emotional reactivity, their brains may misinterpret harmless situations as perilous, invoking a survival response. This can create a loop where emotional responses amplify feelings of threat, heightening reactivity.
Comprehending this connection is vital for formulating strategies to manage emotional responses. Techniques such as mindfulness, cognitive-behavioral therapy, and emotional regulation skills can assist individuals in breaking the cycle of reactivity and diminishing the impact of survival mode on their lives.
**Strategies for Managing High Emotional Reactivity**
1. **Mindfulness Practices**: Engaging in mindfulness meditation can enable individuals to become more aware of their emotional reactions, lessening reactivity.
2. **Cognitive Restructuring**: Challenging negative thought patterns can facilitate reframing perceptions of threats, thereby reducing emotional intensity.
3. **Emotional Regulation Techniques**: Learning to identify and label emotions can empower individuals to handle their reactions more effectively.
4. **Stress Management**: Regular exercise, proper rest, and nutritious eating habits can alleviate stress effects and enhance emotional resilience.
5. **Seeking Professional Help**: Therapy can equip individuals with tools to comprehend and manage their emotional reactivity, particularly if it is rooted in past trauma.
**Conclusion**
High emotional reactivity is a complex interaction of psychological and physiological responses, frequently tied to survival mode. By understanding this connection, individuals can cultivate effective strategies for emotion management, lessen stress, and enhance overall well-being. Recognizing the triggers and patterns of emotional reactivity marks the first step towards building resilience and achieving emotional equilibrium.