An Efficient Approach for Assistance During a Panic Attack

“One useful word carries more weight than a thousand meaningless words, as it brings about serenity.” ~Buddha, Dhammapada

Did he just slice open the side of my head? Am I bleeding out all over? Is blood streaming down my face and onto the floor?

It was during my regular biweekly haircut when my thoughts suddenly started to spiral out of control.

I felt a minor sting on the side of my head, and my anxiety took the reins, using its vivid imagination to veer toward the worst possible outcome.

Just moments before, my barber and I had been laughing about Disneyland. Seconds later, I was certain he’d accidentally opened my head, and everyone in the shop was silently watching me bleed out.

One of his barber colleagues offered me some trail mix and water, but inside, I felt ensnared in an unrelenting cycle, oscillating between anxiety and fear, unable to escape.

Voices faded into the background. The clippers sounded like they were miles away. My brain felt detached from my body. I was hovering somewhere above it, witnessing myself both implode and explode.

“Call 911!” I yelled. Despite being in my early thirties and in perfect health, I was convinced I was experiencing a heart attack. All logical thought vanished as the physical symptoms overtook me. My chest tightened, my vision blurred, and I was certain this was the end.

“Am I dying?” replayed in my mind as I regretted never writing a will.

I jumped from the barber chair and collapsed on the floor, preparing for the heart attack I was convinced was imminent. Fearing I’d need CPR, I somehow maintained enough composure to retrieve my wallet, locate my insurance card, and toss it onto the ground for when they inevitably transported me to the hospital.

It had been nearly ten years since I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. Since then, I’ve worked diligently to manage my mental health through therapy, medication, and self-care, but panic has a cunning way of catching you off guard.

My most recent panic attack had occurred months earlier, and I had convinced myself I was in the clear. Clearly, I wasn’t.

“How do I look? Is my haircut only half-done?” were the initial questions that escaped my lips as I lay sprawled on the cold cement floor, covered in hair and shame, while fire engine sirens approached.

My barber knelt beside me. He remained composed. He gently advised me to breathe and reminded me I was likely having a panic attack.

As I gradually began to calm down, my perception transitioned from floating above myself to returning partially back into my body. My chest still hurt, but I started to regain sensation in my hands.

When the paramedics came, an overwhelming wave of embarrassment washed over me. It became clear that no, I wasn’t having a heart attack. No, I wasn’t dying. No, I wasn’t in hell. I had merely experienced a panic attack.

The only thing that perished that day was a bit of my pride, with a half-dozen firefighters surrounding me in the cramped barbershop while I lay on the floor, soaked in sweat.

They monitored my heart rate and blood pressure. Both were elevated.

Then came the real blow: “Any pre-existing conditions?”

I explained that I deal with anxiety and panic attacks. One firefighter sighed audibly as several others turned back toward the truck. That devastated me.

Despite being a vocal mental health advocate, I felt incredibly small, like a child who had raised a false alarm, except the danger was unseen by everyone but me. It was a raw shame that caught me off guard and I wasn’t quite sure how to cope with it. It felt as if all my years of advocacy suddenly flew out the barbershop’s clear-as-glass window in light of their impatience.

It wasn’t merely the annoyance in their sighs, either. It was the disregard for what I was truly experiencing that hurt deeper than any physical symptom.

The one firefighter who remained inquired about my current medications, sighing louder with each prescription I mentioned, as though my distress were a personal burden to him. It felt as if my genuine fear for my life irritated him, simply because I existed.

Once they ruled out a heart attack, the remaining firefighters assisted me back into the chair and departed.

As I settled back down with half a haircut, I couldn’t help but ponder how commonplace this experience was. More than one in five adults in the U.S. face a mental health condition at some point in a year, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Millions of us bear something invisible. Yet here I was, overwhelmed with shame for something beyond my control.

Then my barber did the most ordinary and extraordinary thing.

“You alright, bro?” he asked. Then he picked up the clippers and nonchalantly continued cutting my hair, as if nothing had happened, continuing our conversation about Disneyland like I hadn’t just relived what felt like a near-death experience on the floor next to him moments before.

He didn’t feel sorry for me. He didn’t judge me. He didn’t make it a big deal. He remained calm, and his calmness conveyed to me that I was still just me.

That was everything.

Here’s what I’ve learned from living with panic attacks for years. You cannot think your way out of one, and nobody else can talk you out of it either.

During the episode, the part of my brain that understands I’m safe goes silent. Logic becomes ineffective, and facts provide no solace.

Someone asserting “you’re fine” tends to exacerbate the situation. It simply feels like one more person who fails to understand.

What genuinely aids is presence—a calm voice or a steady body alongside mine.

My barber had no special training in these matters. He just remained steady when I couldn’t. That helped ground me in reality when nothing else could.

I do have my own techniques, and I use them regularly. One is the five-four-three-two-one grounding exercise, where I name five things I can see, four I can touch, three I can hear, two I can smell, and one I can taste. This exercise helps pull me back to the present moment.

I also have a small handheld device called a TheraTapper. It sends a gentle pulse to each hand in succession, aiding in calming my nervous system when it’s racing.

These tools are effective, but here’s the honest truth: in the most challenging moments, I can’t always access them.

Flat on a barbershop floor, convinced I’m perishing, my rational mind is offline. That’s exactly when another person’s calm becomes most crucial. The tools are mine to employ during quieter times, but often the steadiness must come from someone else.

I’m sharing this because panic attacks are frequently invisible until they suddenly become evident. The shaking, the crying, and lying on the floor can seem dramatic, yet most of the suffering occurs in a place no one can see.

And when it does become visible, the reactions of those around can change everything, whether it’s a sigh, a shrug, or a simple “you good?”

I won’t forget the firefighter’s sigh, but I think of my barber significantly more often.

He reminded me that I’m not insane, I’m not broken, and I’m not alone, without ever uttering those words. Sometimes the most healing gesture isn’t advice or reassurance. It’s simply someone who stays calm beside you until you find your way back.

**An Effective Strategy for Support During a Panic Attack**

Panic attacks can be disorienting events marked by sudden and intense sensations of dread or discomfort. They typically showcase physical symptoms such as heart palpitations, difficulty breathing, dizziness, and an overwhelming sense of doom. Supporting someone during a panic attack demands a careful approach to help them regain control and feel secure. Here’s an effective strategy for providing assistance during these moments.

### 1. Stay Calm and Present

Your demeanor can greatly affect the individual experiencing a panic attack. Keep a calm and reassuring presence. Speak in a gentle, steady tone, and refrain from displaying signs of panic or distress. Your composure can make the person feel more secure and less isolated in their turmoil.

### 2. Acknowledge Their Feelings

Validate the individual’s feelings by recognizing their experience. Use expressions like, “I see you’re feeling really overwhelmed right now,” or “It’s alright to feel this way.” This acknowledgment can help them feel understood and less isolated in their fight.

### 3. Encourage Deep Breathing

Assist the person in practicing deep breathing exercises. Encourage them to inhale slowly through their nose for a count of four, hold their breath for four counts, and exhale through their mouth for four counts. This method can help alleviate hyperventilation and foster relaxation. You can model the breathing for them to follow.

### 4. Grounding Techniques

Help the individual ground themselves by focusing on their surroundings. Encourage them to engage their senses by identifying:

– **Five things they can see**
– **Four things they can touch**
– **Three things they can hear**
– **Two things they can smell**
– **One thing they can taste**

This activity can help refocus their attention from the panic back to the current moment.

### 5. Offer Reassurance

Reassure the person that they are safe and that the panic attack will eventually pass. Remind them that while the sensations may be strong, they are not life-threatening. Use comforting words like, “You’re not alone, I’m right here with you,” or “This will pass, and you’ll feel better soon.”

### 6. Create a Safe Space

If feasible, move to a quieter, less stimulating location. Diminishing external stimuli can help the individual feel more secure. Ensure that they have a comfortable place to sit or lie down, and eliminate any potential stressors from the vicinity.

### 7. Avoid Dismissive Language

Avoid phrases that may downplay their experience, such as “Just calm down” or “It’s not a big deal.” Such remarks can heighten feelings of frustration or shame. Instead, focus on supportive and empathetic language.

### 8. Encourage Professional Help

If panic attacks occur frequently, motivate the individual to seek professional support. Therapists can offer coping strategies and tools to better manage anxiety. Offer to assist them in locating resources or accompany them to appointments if they feel comfortable.

### Conclusion

Supporting someone during a panic attack necessitates patience, empathy, and understanding. By remaining calm, recognizing their feelings, guiding them through breathing exercises, and providing reassurance, you can assist them in navigating this challenging experience. Remember that your support can significantly impact how they handle panic attacks and their overall mental health journey.