The Advantages of Being Unattached: Greater Happiness and Decreased Anxiety

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“The most significant aspect of existence is knowing how to be true to oneself.” ~Michel de Montaigne

Some individuals dread spiders. Others are terrified of speaking in public.

My greatest apprehension? That my plus-one will perpetually be my own reflection.

Increasingly, individuals are discovering themselves in the realm of single living—not because they happily chose it, but due to a quiet acceptance of it. The idea of being alone forever is among the most dreadful concepts for many. Yet, no one seems to discuss it.

I have no desire to criticize men—I admire them. And I’m not here to stigmatize relationships—I still hope to have a conscious partnership or marriage in the future. What I am here for is to voice the other side: the authenticity of being single. A reality that has been ridiculed, inadequately represented, and overshadowed for generations.

Indeed, individuals of all types fear being single. I happen to experience this as a woman, but the fear itself is cultural, intrinsic, and deeply ingrained.

Neither a Witch, Nor a Spinster, Nor Divorced

The stigma surrounding singlehood is pervasive and harmful. It persuades people to remain in relationships they’ve outgrown, as it seems “better than the alternative.” It suggests you’re insufficient without a companion. And the major issue? We have so few examples of individuals leading single, fulfilling lives.

I’m not a witch. I’m not a spinster. And I’m not divorced.

Interesting anecdote—while applying for a work visa abroad, the application inquired about my relationship status. The available options? Married. Divorced. Spinster. That was all. Guess which box I was reluctantly obliged to check? I still find humor in it, yet it illustrates a vital point: if you aren’t coupled, you must be a problem to classify.

It’s Innate

The roots of this issue are profound. Throughout much of history, women’s survival was directly linked to men—financially, socially, and legally. That dependency crafted generations of cultural messages that we all continue to carry within us, regardless of gender. We’ve been conditioned to believe that wholeness is defined by another person.

For anyone who has spent extended periods single, there’s a unique form of grief that stalks us, not for something lost, but for something never experienced. We mourn the concept of intimacy we were promised, the mythical “other half” we were conditioned to require. It’s less about absence and more about a haunting—grieving the narrative we’ve been given rather than our own lived experiences.

Perhaps Disney led us astray. Maybe it was Jerry Maguire’s iconic “you complete me.” Yet the reality is, our fixation on relationships extends far beyond pop culture. It’s centuries old. And it has driven many of us to seek “another” long before we’ve sought out our own identities.

And presently? The dating industry has transformed that age-old conditioning into a multi-million-dollar enterprise.

It manifests in quiet moments, like the friend emerging from a two-decade relationship who murmurs, “What if I never find someone else?” as if that’s the ultimate tragedy.

Legacy, Good Girl, and the Seventh-Grade Prophetess

Although we may have progressed beyond needing a partner for financial stability or housing, within many of us resides an entire cast of characters who haven’t received the news.

In my situation, they present as follows:

• The legacy-burdened individual—the part that still believes that worth is only confirmed once I’m chosen.
• The good girl, who seeks to avoid disappointing family, who smiles politely when someone says, “You’ll find someone soon.”
• The people-pleaser who wonders if they should downplay themselves to be “more dateable.”
• And the inner child who still recalls the sting of being told in seventh grade, “You’ll never have a boyfriend,” and worries, even now, that it might have been a prophecy.

Different faces. Same message: You’re not complete on your own.

Swiping Right on Your Insecurities

The contemporary dating industry has transformed this age-old programming into a goldmine. Apps, relationship coaches, matchmaking services, and self-help literature all flourish by framing your relationship status as yet another dilemma to resolve.

Not long ago, I embarked on a twenty-four-hour road trip, listening to yet another self-help book on relationships. This one at least focused on “becoming the one,” but even then, the end goal remained finding a partner. Where are the books about deepening your relationship with yourself, not as a prelude to love, but simply to live your best life?

And can we please stop pretending that every fabricated meeting arranged on an app qualifies as a “date”? We used to encounter each other organically in coffee shops or elevators; now we swipe because we’re too intimidated to establish eye contact in real life.

The most amusing part? Friends in relationships often appear more thrilled about my initial meetings than I do—as if I’m on the brink of being liberated from the perceived tragedy of my singlehood.

Love, Yes; Anxiety, No

Biology plays a role. We are wired for connection. We yearn for intimacy and belonging. This is not about pretending otherwise.

What I’m addressing here is the fear of being single—the anxiety that leads to poor choices, keeps us in ill-fitting relationships, and fuels an entire industry that profits from our insecurities.

Rather than directing all that longing toward loving and being loved by another, we could simply be… loving. Period. Cultivating a more compassionate relationship with ourselves. Disseminating kindness. Offering to everyone the kind of love that heals the world. Because when we’re preoccupied with fleeing from the fear that something is inherently wrong with us, we overlook our greatest ability—to love, in every direction.

The Gift of Being Unattached

Here’s the secret no one reveals: I can literally do whatever I desire.

If there are socks on the floor, they belong to me.

If the yogurt is gone, I consumed it.

I can plan a trip on a whim, sleep diagonally, and never negotiate over the thermostat. Netflix isn’t inundated with someone else’s questionable preferences, and no one disturbs my sleep—except my dog.

If I’m truthful, my unfiltered anxiety about remaining single forever isn’t about loneliness. It’s choking on a piece of toast and no one discovering me. Or never encountering the profound intimacy and vulnerability I still yearn for.

But here’s the liberating aspect: I’ve come to understand myself in a way I could never have if I’d always been in a relationship. I’ve developed an identity that’s solely mine—untouched by a partner’s desires or habits. And I want everyone living single to recognize that this is not a consolation prize. This is a valid, formidable way to exist. You haven’t failed. Your worth is not measured by anniversaries.

For me, soulmates manifest in friendship as much as in romance. My best friend and I joke that we’ll likely live next to each other when we’re elderly. Deep connections aren’t confined to coupledom, and that reality is liberating.

Single By Choice, Not Default

Viewing singlehood as a bold act of self-trust in a culture fixated on coupling is… quite radical. And truthfully, it’s 2025. We’ve accepted gender fluidity. Sexuality can be expressed across any spectrum you choose. So why do we still categorize individuals based on relationship status? Why is this still the criterion we use to assess someone’s life?

And this isn’t a matter of performative empowerment—people determined to prove they’re immensely strong, so independent, so “I don’t need anybody.” That remains a stance defined in relation to others. What I’m discussing is living entirely for yourself, without apology, without your relationship status being a headline of your life.

So perhaps the really pertinent question isn’t “Will I end up alone?” but “Who can I become if I’m not waiting to be selected?”

And if you’re looking for me, I’ll be gearing up for my next grand adventure: walking the Camino trail in Portugal next summer—a journey fueled entirely by my own two feet, my own heart, and absolutely no plus-one necessary.

**The Advantages of Being Single: Enhanced Joy and Diminished Fear**

In a culture that frequently glorifies romantic connections, the status of being single is often neglected. However, embracing singlehood can yield a variety of advantages, particularly regarding boosted joy and decreased fear. This article investigates how being single can augment personal happiness and alleviate anxieties related to relationships.

**1. Freedom and Independence**

One of the most notable benefits of being single is the autonomy it provides. Individuals have the liberty to make decisions without having to consider a partner’s wishes or schedules. This independence facilitates spontaneous adventures, travel, and the pursuit of personal interests. The capacity to prioritize one’s own needs and desires cultivates a sense of empowerment and self-discovery, leading to increased joy.

**2. Self-Exploration and Personal Development**

Being single offers the perfect chance for self-discovery. Without the distractions of a romantic relationship, individuals can focus on personal growth, hobbies, and passions. This time invested in self-improvement can lead to greater self-awareness and confidence. Engaging in activities that bring joy, whether learning a new skill or chasing a long-held dream, can significantly boost overall happiness.

**3. Stronger Friendships and Social Bonds**

Single individuals often possess more time to devote to friendships and social networks. This can foster deeper connections with friends and family, providing a strong support system. Robust social ties are associated with heightened happiness and emotional well-being. By nurturing these relationships, individuals can experience a sense of belonging and community that enhances their overall joy.

**4. Diminished Fear of Heartbreak**

One of the emotional weights of being in a relationship is the fear of heartbreak and potential loss. When single, individuals can experience relief from this anxiety. The lack of romantic entanglements allows for emotional stability and the freedom to navigate life without the fear of rejection or betrayal. This reduction in fear can promote a more positive outlook on life and relationships as a whole.

**5. Increased Focus on Career and Personal Ambitions**

Being single often results in having greater time and energy to devote to career goals and personal aspirations. Without the distractions of a relationship, individuals can fully immerse themselves in professional development, which can lead to enhanced job satisfaction and success. This focus can also translate into financial independence, contributing to a heightened sense of security and joy.

**6. Better Mental Well-being**

Research has indicated that single individuals may experience lower levels of stress and anxiety in comparison to those in relationships. The absence of relationship-related pressures can lead to improved mental health and emotional resilience. By prioritizing self-care and mental wellness, single individuals can create a more joyful and fulfilling life.

**7. Opportunity for Authentic Expression**

Being single permits individuals to embrace their authentic selves without having to conform to a partner’s expectations. This authenticity nurturing a sense of joy and fulfillment, as individuals can freely express their thoughts, feelings, and desires. Embracing one’s identity can result in greater self-acceptance and happiness.

**Conclusion**

While societal conventions often stress the importance of romantic relationships, the benefits of being single are profound. Enhanced joy, reduced fear, and opportunities for personal growth make singlehood a valuable and enriching experience. By accepting this stage of life, individuals can cultivate happiness, establish meaningful connections, and ultimately lead a more fulfilling existence.